Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
