Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
