What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
