I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
