Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
