Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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