i barfeds in our rink
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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