apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Terrible idea I love it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
