you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
NoShamevember. You game?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
