i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
