He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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