It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he thought i was a dude.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Someone shattered a urinal.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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