We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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