theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
