Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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