Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
