According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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