I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
