I want to have your abortion
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
