No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Terrible idea I love it
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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