didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
