HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
