it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
