His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
