C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
