We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
