Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
