I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The best revenge is premature balding
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
