mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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