check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
