if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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