you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
