I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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