At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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