erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
