thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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