I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
