Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
