i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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