Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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