she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So vagazzling was a success
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
