Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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