VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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