you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
