i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
