dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
