if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
