It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we made out on top of his cat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
