question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
