does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
